


The Official Overwatch Communication Channel

by orphan_account



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, I Don't Even Know, Lúcio Correia dos Santos & Hana "D.Va" Song Are Best Friends, M/M, Major Brigitte Lindholm/Hana "D.Va" Song, Mercy Doesn't Care Anymore, Minor Ana Amari/Reinhardt Wilhelm, Minor Fareeha "Pharah" Amari/Angela "Mercy" Ziegler, Minor Lena "Tracer" Oxton/Widowmaker | Amélie Lacroix, Mistakes were made, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Texting, Winston Is Just Done With Everything, group chats, i thought i was funny, no chill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 04:24:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15525993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Also known as, [MISTAKES WERE MADE]. (My own attempt at writing text messages between the Overwatch characters. Will pick up over time. Rated M for future texts)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Alright, well, I've seen a few of these so I figured I'd give it a shot. Might help with writer's block? I dunno. But *shrugs*. Might take a bit for things to pick up in the funny category, but I'm trying.**

* * *

**[Winston] created [Overwatch Communication Channel].**

**[Winston] added [Soldier 76] to the chat.**

**[Soldier 76] has entered [Overwatch Communication Channel].**

**76:** Are you sure this is a good idea, Winston?

 **WINSTON:** It's been years, it's about time we remake our old means of communication. Unfortunately after Talon's attack on my lab, Athena was unable to recover many of the original channels.

 **76:** I really hope you know what you're doing.

**[Winston] added [Lena Oxton], [Fareeha Amari], [Hana Song], and twenty-three others.**

****

**[Lena Oxton] has entered [Overwatch Communication Channel].**

****

**[Lena Oxton] changed their name to [Tracer].**

**TRACER:** Winston! Trying to recreate our old chats?

 **WINSTON:** That's the idea.

**[Ana Amari] has entered [Overwatch Communication Channel].**

**ANA:** Do you not recall what happened last time we had these channels, Winston?

 **WINSTON:** I'm hoping we've all matured since that time.

**[Genji Shimada] has entered [Overwatch Communication Channel].**

**GENJI:** What in the fresh hell is this

 **TRACER:** It's already starting.

 **WINSTON:** Genji, please. This is for professional uses only.

 **GENJI:** Good luck with that

**[Angela Ziegler] has entered [Overwatch Communication Channel].**

****

**[Angela Ziegler] changed their name to [Mercy].**

**MERCY:** Please, not again.

 **GENJI:** See Angela knows whats up

 **MERCY:** Winston, I beg you. Do not revive these chats.

 **WINSTON:** I hardly think it will be as bad as you think. Genji has been the only one so far to display an unprofessional attitude.

**[Jesse McCree] has entered [Overwatch Communication Channel].**

**MCCREE:** What the fuck

 **GENJI:** You were saying?

 **TRACER:** I can hear Winston facepalming from the other side of the base.

 **MCCREE:** I thought we were past these things

 **WINSTON:** All I wanted was to make talking to each other a little easier.

 **TRACER:** That was asking for too much mate.

 **76:** I tried to tell him.

**[Jamison Fawkes] has entered [Overwatch Communication Channel].**

****

**[Mako Rutledge] has entered [Overwatch Communication Channel].**

****

**[Jamison Fawkes] changed their name to [Junkrat].**

****

**[Junkrat] changed [Mako Rutledge]'s name to [Roadhog].**

**JUNKRAT:** WHAT'S GOING ON HERE

 **MERCY:** Nothing. Winston, please. Before this gets out of hand.

 **TRACER:** Little late for that isn't it?

**[Roadhog] has disconnected.**

**MCCREE:** Didn't expect him to talk anyway

**[Reinhardt Wilhelm] has entered [Overwatch Communication Channel].**

**REINHARDT:** WINSTON MY FRIEND

 **WINSTON:** Hello, Rein. Glad you could join us.

 **REINHARDT:** I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW I'VE MISSED OUR CHATS

 **WINSTON:** Could you disable capslock by any chance?

 **ANA:** I don't believe that will be possible.

 **WINSTON:** Why not?

 **ANA:** You should see him trying to press one button at a time.

 **REINHARDT:** THE BUTTONS ARE SMALLER THAN I REMEMBER

 **WINSTON:** ...I'll work on designing a bigger communicator for you, Rein.

 **REINHARDT:** THANK YOU

**[Hana Song] has entered [Overwatch Communication Channel].**

****

**[Hana Song] changed their name to [D.Va].**

**D.VA:** OH OH LENA TOLD ME ABOUT THE CHATS YOU GUYS USED TO HAVE  
**D.VA:** WHAT UP BITCH BOIS

 **MERCY:** Hana.

 **WINSTON:** Hana, as I stated before. Professional. Purposes. Only.

 **TRACER:** This is about how they were when we first had them

 **WINSTON:** We were younger then.

 **76:** Obviously nothing's changed.

 **TRACER:** Time does nothing. I would know.

 **76:** Damn it, Oxton.

 **TRACER:** OI! That's Tracer to you, _Jack_.

 **76:** Jack is dead.

 **GENJI:** About as dead as I am.  
**GENJI:** @HANZO

**[Hanzo Shimada] has entered [Overwatch Communication Channel].**

**HANZO:** And I wish you'd stayed that way.

 **JUNKRAT:** BURN

 **D.VA:** Genji's gonna need some healing from that

**[Mercy] has disconnected.**

**MCCREE:** Damn

 **D.VA:** The disrespect

 **GENJI:** Fuck all of you

 **WINSTON:** I already regret everything.

**[D.Va] changed the chat name to [MISTAKES WERE MADE].**

**TRACER:** Couldn't have said it better myself

**[Winston] removed [D.Va]'s admin permissions.**

**D.VA:** Hey!

**[Tracer] granted [D.Va] admin permissions.**

**D.VA:** Thanks Lena!

 **TRACER:** No prob luv

**[D.Va] changed [Winston]'s name to [Killjoy].**

****

**[Killjoy] has disconnected.**

**MCCREE:** I think that's the fastest he's ever left a chat

 **D.VA:** Scoreboard!

 **GENJI:** The cringe it burns

 **JUNKRAT:** Can you even burn mate

 **GENJI:** Shut up

 **76:** I'm surrounded by idiots.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So, that's all for the introduction for now? If you guys have any ideas for later 'chapters'/texts then let me know and I'll try to include them! Like I said, it'll take me a bit before I'm in a comfortable spot with this kind of comedy but I hope my efforts don't go unnoticed. Until next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Lest we forget the hamster. Another chapter because I was bored.**

* * *

**[Hammond] has entered [WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET].**

**GENJI:** Who added the gerbil?

 **TRACER:** He's a hamster

 **GENJI:** Same difference

 **HAMMOND:** Fuck you.

 **D.VA:** SINCE WHEN CAN HE TALK

**[Killjoy] has entered [WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET].**

**KILLJOY:** I modified his mecha and added a communicator to his system. It's synced to his translator.  
 **KILLJOY:** And for the love of god can someone put my name back?

 **TRACER:** On it

 **D.VA:** Do it and I nerf you

 **KILLJOY:** Save your nerfs for Talon, Hana.

 **D.VA:** And that's exactly why I changed your name

**[Mercy] has entered [WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET].**

**[Mercy] changed [Killjoy]'s name to [Winston].**

**WINSTON:** Thank you, Angela.

 **D.VA:** Angie :(

 **MERCY:** Don't call me that.

 **TRACER:** Can't nerf the doc

 **D.VA:** I'll still nerf you tho

 **MERCY:** Please no more visits to the infirmary. I already have my hands full with Fareeha.

 **D.VA:** Gay

 **TRACER:** Hella gay

 **MERCY:** ...

**[Mercy] has disconnected.**

**WINSTON:** Stop it, you two.

 **D.VA:** Just stating facts

 **TRACER:** Sucks for Genji though

 **GENJI:** Why you say that

 **TRACER:** Don't you have the biggest crush on her or something

 **D.VA:** OH YEAH that explains why he keeps going to her for healing

 **GENJI:** I will kill you

 **TRACER:** Hope you're more efficient than your brother

 **D.VA:** HEYO

**[Hanzo Shimada] has entered [WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET].**

**HANZO:** Can we please leave that topic alone?

 **D.VA:** lol never

 **GENJI:** Is no one going to ask what the gerbil wanted

 **TRACER:** Hamster

 **HAMMOND:** Call me a gerbil again.

 **TRACER:** Betcha he won't

 **WINSTON:** No instigating fights.

 **TRACER:** I'm not instigating anything I'm just betting he won't

 **WINSTON:** That's the same thing, Lena.

 **GENJI:** Gerbil

**[Hammond] went idle.**

**D.VA:** OH SHIT

 **TRACER:** rip genji

 **MCCREE:** rip

 **WINSTON:** How long have you been here?

 **MCCREE:** The whole time

**[Lucio Correia dos Santos] has entered [WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET].**

**LUCIO:** Why did Hammond just roll by my room at full speed

 **D.VA:** Scroll up

 **LUCIO:** rip

 **TRACER:** @MERCY still got your hands full with Fareeha?

**[Mercy] has entered [WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET].**

**MERCY:** Yes, why?

 **D.VA:** still gay

**[Genji] went idle.**

**MCCREE:** Here we go

**[Junkrat] has entered [WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET].**

**JUNKRAT:** I SWEAR THOSE EXPLOSIONS AREN'T ME THIS TIME

 **D.VA:** We know

 **MERCY:** I'm not healing that.

 **WINSTON:** Angela, please.

 **MERCY:** I'm not a miracle worker.

 **D.VA:** But you are tho

 **TRACER:** But he asked for it tho

 **LUCIO:** Tru

**[Ana Amari] has entered [WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET].**

**ANA:** Children, behave.

 **D.VA:** WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CHILD

 **TRACER:** That struck a nerve

 **LUCIO:** Han you're the youngest one here

 **D.VA:** IM FUCKING NINETEEN

 **ANA:** That means nothing to me

**[Hammond] is now active.**

**HAMMOND:** Genji requires medical attention.

**[Mercy] has disconnected.**

**D.VA:** Fuckin rekt

 **WINSTON:** Hammond, the next time someone annoys you please do not deploy your minefield.

 **HAMMOND:** I make no such promises.

 **D.VA:** Wait do we count Hammond in the age thing

 **TRACER:** I don't see why not

 **D.VA:** How old are you hammy

 **HAMMOND:** Do not call me that. Also, I am fourteen in human years.

 **D.VA:** HA SO IM NOT THE YOUNGEST

 **TRACER:** Wait he said in human years

 **LUCIO:** What does that mean

 **WINSTON:** Many years ago, long before our time, hamsters typically didn't live longer than three years. One year for humans was about twenty-six years for hamsters. Like how one year for humans was seven years for dogs.

 **TRACER:** So that means Hammond's like 364 years old

 **MCCREE:** Technically still the young'un Hana

**[D.Va] has disconnected.**

**TRACER:** Lol talk about salt

 **LUCIO:** I'll send Brig her way she'll be fine

 **WINSTON:** What did you want anyway, Hammond?

 **HAMMOND:** I regret to inform you that we are out of peanut butter.

**[Winston] has disconnected.**

**LUCIO:** Who's turn was it to go shopping?

 **MCCREE:** Genji's.

 **TRACER:** rip

 **LUCIO:** Poor guy can't catch a break

**[Aleksandra Zaryanova] has entered [WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET].**

**[Aleksandra Zaryanova] changed her name to [Zarya].**

**ZARYA:** What is with all the thudding?

**[Reinhardt Wilhelm] has entered [WHO PUT YOU ON THE PLANET].**

**REINHARDT:** WINSTON IS HITTING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE WALL

 **JUNKRAT:** Double rip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Genji will get his break. Eventually. Until next time!**
> 
> **Bonus points to whoever can guess where the chat name is from.**


End file.
